As an indie musician, it’s the number one question I get asked by music lovers, family, and friends: “Why don’t you play live shows?” And it’s meant with love. It’s asked by people who believe in me, who enjoy my music, and who want to see me command a stage the way I command a conversation (😉 I talk a lot). The answer surprises some people. And, no, it’s not because I’m not really singing or playing instruments. Let’s dive in.

Sometimes people think I don’t play live because I don’t actually make my own music

Let me start by say that it’s not true. I do make my own music. I play my own guitar. I play my own keyboard. I use MIDI input to create drum tracks and basslines beat by beat; note by note. I write the lyrics and the melodies. I do all the producing, too. It’s just me, my instruments, my MIDI inputs, and Ableton Live.

Do I play the guitar well? Nope.

Am I like Elton John on a piano or keyboard? Hell no.

But I play well enough to make my music. Occasionally, I’ll even upload a live acoustic performance onto YouTube. One day, I hope to get a piano or a keyboard that isn’t MIDI so I can play more for you ❤️

The biggest reason why I don’t play live shows

My health. Let me just sum that one up really quickly for you 😆. My health is the biggest reason I don’t perform live.

I have a dynamic chronic illness. I was born with it and it is what it is. I’ve learned to live with it. But it does mean that waves of unpredictable symptoms come on at random times. Which also means that committing myself to performing live is really not possible. I cannot rely on my body to function properly when I want it to.

To set a date for something usually means to cancel it. I’m the friend who cancels 80% of dates and meetings. I would never want to do that to music fans or venues.

I also don’t play live because I don’t have a band

Being a solo indie musician is hard enough without chronic health problems. Add those in and, well, let’s just say it’s hard to be a one woman show. Showing up live and singing my heart out would be a hell of a lot easier than doing an acoustic-style show with just me and my guitar or me and my keyboard. So, realistically, performing with a band might be easier. But I’d probably also need a manager and stuff to set everything up and people to drive me where I need to be, etc. See how quickly that all stacks up?

How I’ve adjusted my idea of success to work with my limitations

I’ve already written a full-length post about this so I won’t go too in depth here. But suffice it to say that I really had to adjust my ideas of what it means to be a successful musician. Just the fact that I can create music at all and am blessed to be able to share it with the world – that is success. Even if only one or two people are listening 😉

So, you know what? I’m good. I’m happy. I’m proud of what I’ve made and I’m OK with the fact that I don’t perform live (with a band or otherwise).

Want to dive more into this topic? Check out my YouTube video below 👇